Feb 1st

So, I am a month into the new year... and I have not dropped a pound! Ugh. I really have been working hard, and I really have made some serious changes. Is it the perpetual period I have been plagued with? Is it that I am building SO much muscle, I weigh the same? LOL Am I delusional and thinking I am doing well when I am not? Am I not working out enough? Hard enough? Am I eating too much? Too little? I just don't know!

I can't say how many times I have been here before. For the same reasons? Who knows. It is frustrating and disheartening. The thing is, I refuse to give up! My heart isn't in it, I'll admit, but my mind knows it's about more than my emotions. Lord knows they've gotten me into way more trouble in the past. I am praying for God's strength and guidance, because I recognize that I cannot do this on my own. And frankly, I don't want to. I have proven that I don't have it in me in the past; why try the same thing that doesn't work?!

Lord, I am asking for Your strength for today. Help me to be the best I can for You! This is not about how much I weigh or what I eat as much as it is about my relationship with You. I depend on You today and know that You will be with me. That's what matters most!