Monday, January 21, 2008  | Current mood:  exhausted It's January 21. My Christmas letter STILL isn't done. (My new goal to have it out is Feb. 1st.) There is so much I want to record, but where to start? To start at the beginning seems far too insurmountable. I think I will start with the present, like one of those films that tells the story in segments backwards... So, I am finally home with the kids (MLK b-day), but it is not quite what I had envisioned, at least not yet. I just had knee surgery (just a torn meniscus) on Thursday morning and was home by 9:45 am. I was feeling pretty good, considering, so I didn't mind helping out w/ the baby , dinner, etc., even though I was supposed to have my leg elevated and icing. Not that Bob was being lazy; he had come down with cold/flu symptoms and was quite a mess himself! I believe Friday is pretty much a blur to him. I locked up, turned off lights, etc. Obie and I were the last ones up. Unfortunately, my early activity caught up to me, and I woke up on Saturday in agony, with my knee feeling worse that it did Thursday morning! Bob felt horrible and did what he could for me, despite still feeling ill. Did I mention that Maddie is also sick? Yeah, we pretty much quarantined ourselves for the long weekend. I really haven't been sleeping well due to the discomfort of my knee and trying to keep it propped up at night. Plus, I have been nursing Obie. Not that he's been up at night, thank God. He's been sleeping about 9 hours, nurses, and goes back to sleep for three more hours or so. I just have had a reallly hard time getting back to sleep after nursing him. So, between trying to recover and not sleeping well, needless to say, it did not prove helpful to my immune system. Yep, you guessed it- I got the cold- or whatever it is- also. Now I am just praying that God would provide Obie with the antibodies through me that he needs to fight this bug! He's had a little bit of a cough and some boogers, but it is nothing bad. My knee is starting to feel better, though, which is good. It is still pretty stiff, but I am walking better, doing my rehab exercises, and looking forward to when I can truly regain my strength and mobility. As I said, I have been working from home since last week. I am not fully trained yet, as my phone line was an issue. It is sorted out but needs to connect to the"home base" still, so all of the kinks are not quite worked out yet. Unfortunately, (I feel like Lemony Snickett!) I have two mandatory meetings during the day tomorrow, so I can't fix the phone issue then either. I am supposed to be on phones tomorrow night, though, so I really need to talk to my manager and see how he wants to proceed. In fact, I should be doing that now. Hopefully, the rest of the week will settle down, and I can get into my new, much-needed, long-waited-for, home routine; may it truly be routine at least for a few months. I need a break from the chaos!  | Currently reading:
Life of Pi
By Yann Martel
Release date: 01 May, 2003 |
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| | Tuesday, January 22, 2008 |
Category: Blogging How ironic to see that the last time I wrote there was snow on the ground here!!! I do not think we have had snow since then. Just last night we received a light covering, but by the clouds over the mountains- and the fact that you cannot see the mountains b/c of fog- I believe we will be seeing more snow soon. I really would like to archive the events of my life from the last month, but I truly do not have the time to do it justice right now. I actually got on today with the sole purpose of drafting a Christmas letter, and I need to get on it b/c I have already spent way too much time doing other stuff, so here goes... The year 2007 will always stick out in my mind as one of the greatest years of change for the Robert Crum family!!! If you would have told me last year that things in our lives would be even more transformed in the coming year, I don't think I would have believed you!!!! But, alas, here we are, and we are no where near where we were at the end of 2006. Garrett turned 10 years old this October- double digits! There's no turning back! He is growing so tall, and his face reflects his maturity as there is truly no sign of the soft round cheeks with which he used to melt my heart! This year at school, he has decided to take up the cello, with much encouragement from us! While not every day is easy, I do hope he sticks with it and look forward to watching him develop this new skill. He also is taking typing for the second year and is probably better than me at it by now! (He should be typing this!) We are definitely encouraging this as so many things are done on the computer, and typing goes along with that. We won't mention his penmanship... Madelene, who turned 8 in June, has also begun some new adventures in her life this year. She also has started playing an instrument, choosing the violin for herself. While she doesn't always like practicing, she is excited about progressing in her skills and cannot wait to for her winter concert on December 17. Maddie also joined Girl Scouts this fall and has enjoyed the fun-filled activities with other girls her age. She has become good friends with one of the neighbor girls, Maggie, who is a delight to have around. Moreover, Maddie has LOVED becoming a big sister for the first time, which brings us to... Obie!!! Oberron Everett Crum was born at 4:41 pm on September 16, 2007, after 32 1/2 hours of labor! While it was not a pleasurable experience, I can honestly say that it was worth it. Obie has been a wonderful- if not arduous- addition to our family, and it is hard to imagine life without him. As I write, he is almost 12 weeks old and is that smiling, squeezable, chubby little cutie that you picture in your head when you hear the word, "baby". He has had his share of trials in his short life here, spending a week on lights for jaundice just days after his birth. He is growing quickly, and I cannot wait until I am able to spend more time with him and witness his daily feats of baby progress! (More on that note to come.) Bob has gracefully re-entered the world of fathering a baby and has successfully taken on many more responsibilities with Obie than he ever had a chance to with the other kids. He currently juggles work, school, kids, and dinner each weekday, and while it is not always a rewarding experience, he gets the job done. (Many thanks again for the frozen meals, Mom!) Bob has also now completed over a year's worth of schooling through the Art Institute Online and is well on his path to receiving his degree in Graphic Design. He started working with a graphic design firm this January and has come leaps and bounds in what he has learned and created. He has gone from being the "newbie" artist to becoming the invaluable illustrator/designer/web something-or-other, and all this was accomplished in less than a year! He is truly gifted in this field, and it blesses me to see him working within the arena of his talent! Which brings us to me. It is always the hardest to write about yourself, but I will try to give an accurate account of my year. I found out I was pregnant the day Bob started his new job (because we can never make one grand transition at a time!) About April, I realized that I was not going to be able to keep doing my job as an Activities Assistant throughout my pregnancy; it was simply too physically demanding. So, I decided to see what other options were available in other departments, and I ended up taking a position in the Rehab department, which not only offered more self-paced activity but also a raise. After Obie was born, however, the desire to be home with him was over-whelming. Following a suggestion from a friend, I applied online with Focus on the Family for an at-home position...
(This is actually the SECOND time I will be trying to finish this- I lost my other ending and who knows what epic tale disappeared with it!!! sigh.)
...and long-story-short, I was hired and scheduled to start training on November 5. So, in an attempt to not burn bridges, I decided to return to work at the nursing home to give a proper resignation. Unfortunately, this required me to leave my sweet 4 week old baby with a sitter. (Thank God for a wonderful friend from Bible Study who has been willing to take care of Obie during the day with her own two young children!) Well, I intended to quit and told my boss promptly the first morning I returned to work; however, by noon he had asked me to stay with the understanding that I could choose my own hours, receive a considerable raise, and bring the baby with me to work. So, needless to say, I did not quit as this will allow me to make some extra money as needed during the day after I am home with Obie. So, I am busy beyond belief but trying to look at the light at the end of the tunnel. It is currently Christmas night, and I really haven't had much time besides now to finish this letter. I look forward to being able to be home with Obie, even if it means working most nights and Saturdays. I am enjoying this this job- it is challenging and rewarding- but I am looking forward to a less rigorous schedule. Of course, I am scheduled to have minor knee surgery a week after I finish training, so I guess I will have to keep adjusting to "curveballs", so to say... (This is at least the 2nd time I've tried to end this thing- you would think I'd learn my lesson!) It's January 22nd. So much has changed since I started this, but seeing that my goal is to get it out by Feb. 1, I think I need to leave well-enough alone. Suffice to say, I will cover these changes in next year's letter! Merry Christmas to you all, and Happy New Year from our family to yours!
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| | Wednesday, October 24, 2007 | Current mood: drained Category: Blogging We had our first snow Sunday morning. It's crazy, considering we had run out to Target at 8 pm Saturday night, and the temp. was still 67! And yesterday and today got up to the 70s! Needless to say, the snow didn't last, but it was sure beautiful while it was here! The snow-capped mountains are my favorite!
It makes me anticipate Christmas and the holidays, both good and bad. I do love the holidays, but this year, i will be busier than ever! I am scheduled to start my new job on November 5th, which will begin w/ 8 weeks of full-time work, 8-5. I gave my 2-week notice at the nursing home, but i don't think I will actually be leaving. My supervisor asked me to stay on, per diem, and if I keep enough hours, I can keep my insurance also. This would be great, except that I am going to be working my butt off and have a new baby. I am really torn because, while I do like my job and look forward to the new one, I miss my baby and feel very guilty leaving him. Even more than feeling guilty aout leaving him, I feel guilty for enjoying my job. (Right now I am back at the nursing home working 30 hrs/wk.)
Obie seems to be doing well, though. He is often being watched by a friend of mine who has a toddler and preschooler. They get along well. Obie also has gone to work w/ Bob, but that understandably makes his job difficult. Obie does take bottles well- breastmilk or formula- and nurses, so that helps greatly. I also really cherish the time I do get to spend w/ him, and I think I am also more tolerant because of my time away from him.
I am nervous about beginning this new job. The time away, the unfamiliar environment, the unknown...everything- it is all so uncomfortable! Not to mention the 10 hour days! I really don't know how I am going to manage pumping. I already have to supplement a bottle/ day of formula due to scheduling conflicts. I don't mind this, but I really don't want to give up breastfeeding this early! We'll see how it all works out. I know I feel like I am just along for the ride sometimes. |
| | Friday, October 19, 2007 | Current mood:  contemplative Category: Blogging I went back to work this week. It was pretty tough, but I guess I could say it went better than I expected. I expected to ball my eyes out, and the truth is, I wanted to. I wanted to, but I also told myself over and over- don't cry, don't cry. You don't need to cry. This is short-term. You are doing what you need to do. You need to be strong and do your job well, not be an emotional basket-case! YOu can do this!!! I guess it worked because I didn't cry. In fact, by day 2, I didn't even think about crying. I actually enjoyed work...and then I felt guilty for not crying, not struggling more, and enjoying work! Like I am a bad mom because I could survive leaving my very young baby behind while I pursued a career. I know that is warped because the truth is, I am making a job shift so I can be home w/ him. I also miss Obie desperately and find joy in sharing his pictures- however poor the quality on my camera phone- just so I can look at them again. I checked my email today, and everything is in place to start my new job November 5th. I am a little nervous because the training is going to be long- long hours, many weeks- and it will be taxing on both Bob and I in many different ways. But I believe that the long-term benefits will make it worth it, not to mention that the short-term increase in pay will be more than helpful after a month off! I do have a new dilemma, though. My current boss wants me to stay, even if it is very part-time. This is actually very good because I like what I am doing, love the people who live there, and don't really want to sever the ties between my friends and colleagues there. More importantly, if I work enough hours, I can maintain my insurance there. This would be quite a boon as the lack of insurance has been the only down-side to the new job. The problem is, I only have so much time. Can I really swing 2 part-time jobs and be a full-time mom? The thought alone is overwhelming, yet being the people-pleaser that I am, I feel like that is exactly what I must do. The income, benefits, and health insurance are also strong influences towards my decision of doing this. (Janelle, I know this would totally mess up your plans, but I haven't made any solid decisions either way.) Where does this all leave me? Tired! I am so tired, and I am tired of feeling overwhelmed by monumental decisions. I really was looking forward to a longer maternity leave, where I could have some time to just chill out for a little while, not to mention enjoy the new baby. And while I feel very blessed by the provisions that are coming our way, I feel VERY stretched, and I do not see an end to that in sight any time soon. I just pray that I will have the serenity to cope and not just cope, but come out a stronger, better person who is truly fulfilling her purpose in this life at this appointed time. |
| | Friday, October 12, 2007 |
Category: Blogging I have had so much to say, yet so little time to say it... yet when I finally have the opportunity, it seems the words simply do not come.
Perhaps at another time. |
| | Thursday, October 04, 2007 |
Category: Blogging Obie's level was down to 12.9, so they had me discontinue the bili-bed since he was so close to 12. Unfortunately, he was back up to 14.1 by Friday. They did not have me put him back on the bed, though. They said that it was not uncommon for them to go up a little when you discontinue phototherapy but to watch his color, eating, and energy level. Unfortunately, he was looking yellow, not eating well, AND very lethargic! So, I called the Dr. AGAIN. They actually told me that sometimes breat-fed babies' livers have trouble starting to function fully due to some hormonal interaction. They recommended that I formula-feed him for the weekend (and pump and save it). So, I did. (And I took the opportunity to enjoy a margarita Friday night!) Monday's lab was 10.3, well below where he needed to be, so yeah!
Unfortunately, his eyes started oozing yellow goo and crusting shut when he would sleep, so it was BACK to the Dr. AGAIN. He is now on eyedrops- probably an infection from the birth canal- and doing much better.
Hopefully, this will end our Dr. saga. (Forgot to mention I had to take him inbecause his circumcision was not looking right. It is okay now, though.) On a better note, he is sooo cute! Two nights ago, he slept for 6 hours! He was back to 3 hours last night, but that is okay considering he is 2 1/2 weeks old! Also, he smiled at me today, and it wasn't gas! I know the experts say that they can't truly smile until they are like 6 weeks old, but I was talking to him and holding him so he could see me. He was wide awake and attentively listening to me, and then he gently smiled! He did it 3 times! My mom was standing right there with me and was amazed as well. It was the sweetest thing!
My mom arrived last Friday and has been busy cooking and baking, filling my freezer with food for when she leaves. What a blessing that is! Once I start working again, I know things will be quite hectic, so having things made ahead of time will come in so handy!
I must say, my time home is flying by! It is really nice to have the time home, even if it is accompanied by sleepless nights! It has been a long time since I stayed at home with the other kids. It is strange with Obie- I feel like a first time mom w/ just him during the day and yet possess the calm of a seasoned mom! It's kind of like having a second chance or at least a chance to relive something. I think I definintely cherish each moment more this time. |
| | Monday, September 24, 2007 | Current mood:  hopeful Category: Blogging I took Obie to the hospital for new labs today. He is doing better- his bili. level is down to 15.5, but it needs to be under 12 before he can come off of the lights. The Dr. wants me to bring him in again on Wed. morning for another lab. test. We hope that this will mark the end of this little phase. We can't wait to hold him freely again, to dress him in his cute little outfits, to take him out as desired. Just two more nights...we hope! |
| | Saturday, September 22, 2007 | Current mood: thoughtful Category: Blogging Well, the last time I sat down to write on this seems like eons ago! Soooo much has happened, so much change... and I do have quite a story, although I do not have the time to draft in right now. I will, for posterity, but when I can better collect my thoughts and sit w/ ample time to get the details down without feeling rushed.
For now I am pleased to say that I am no longer pregnant, which feels great even though I don't feel great yet. (can anyone say "baby fat" and Flinstone feet?) To lean against the kitchen sink without pain, to pick something up off the floor fairly effortlessly, to get up off of the couch without having to groan, to paint my own toenails w/o having to exhale each time I lean forward...ah, the bliss! My knee is still giving me problems, but I hope that clears with the rest of my "pregnancy symptoms" that are lingering, albeit diminishing.
More exciting, though, than all of that is the ability to finally hold my tiny baby in my arms. To feel his super-soft skin against mine, to kiss his little baby lips, to have him snuggle up against me and gently fall asleep... there is nothing like it in the world.
Much has changed already, but I know this is just the beginning. We have so much to look forward to with him, and I cannot wait to see who Oberron Everett Crum really is! For now, I look to Monday and pray that his labs are okay so he can come off of the bili-bed, and we are free to hold him again and play with him whenever we want. I love my little Obie!!! |
| | Saturday, September 15, 2007 | Well, I believe I am truly in labor!!! I have been contracting since 8 am this morning, and they are really starting to hurt now! Hooray!!!
I saw my Dr. yesterday, and I was at 3 cm and 50% effaced, so she stripped my membranes. I saw my doula last night, and she said I had a 50/50 chance of having a baby within 48 hours! So, with a little encouragement this morning, I believe I am well on my way to delivery!!! It might not be by midnight, but I think it is safe to say by tomorrow morning, we will have a new member of the family!
And what a relief! After finishing this work week, I felt like there was NO WAY I could go back on Monday, even though I knew I would if I had to. But it looks like I will not, and we will enter a brand new phase of life for all of us.
Maddie was so excited about the prospect of meeting her new little brother that she was in tears last night. She told me they were tears of joy! ;)
Well, I need to go make some phone calls. The next time I write- I am sure I will have quite a story to tell! |
| | Wednesday, September 12, 2007 | Current mood:  uncomfortable Category: Blogging (While I am really excited about this baby and the time is drawing near, I am also tired of feeling like all I can talk about is "baby stuff". So with that said, this entry is NOT about babies!)
Tonight I practiced the bass guitar I am currently borrowing. My fingers still hurt!!! But I am liking it, and I am excited about the prospects of playing/ preforming. My friend Laura asked me if I was interested in learning it as she would like one for the "band" she and another woman have. Plus, she wanted me to sing for them, so the bass thing kinda killed two birds w/ one stone! Obviously I have much to learn, but once I can do the basics, it will just improve from there. I do have a good ear for music and have had a lot of training musically in the past, so I think I will pick it up quickly as long as I am consistent. And that is what I plan to do. Taking 1/2 hour for yourself or self-betterment each day is a good thing...and easier said than done, but I really do want to prioritize it. It is fun, exciting, and something I have wanted to do for a long time.
I AM GOING TO BE IN A CHIC BAND- HOW COOL IS THAT?!?!  | Currently reading:
House
By Frank Peretti
Release date: 07 March, 2007 |
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